ramblings of an entrepreneurial madman

There has been some weird shit going on these past couple of days and I can’t help but think that it is more then merely a coincidence.

Earlier in the week I was sitting at my computer in my bedroom and I glanced up at my dry erase board I have on my wall.  Typically I use it to write down my goals every month but over the past several months the goals have barely changed because I have not hit any of them.  So the only thing that changes on the board is the actual month written at the top.  Finally I decided that enough is enough and I erased the whole damn thing and just left it blank.  I also had some goals printed on paper that were pinned to my wall next to the board and I tore all those down as well.  I was sick and fucking tired of looking at that shit everyday with little to no change.

Then on Wednesday, a coworker in my office gave me an invitation for a party my business partner is having at his new house next week.  This set off alarms in my head almost immediately because I’ve been doing nothing but thinking about how the fuck I’m going to stay afloat the next couple of months, and I’ve been contemplating contacting my business partner for some assistance.  He is in town only a couple of times a year and the last time he was here we didn’t even have a chance to talk because he was busy buying his house.

So after weeks and weeks of wondering what I’m going to do, I get handed this invitation to his house for a party and to me; a blind man could see that this is a definite sign that something needs to be done.  I have absolutely no idea how I’m going to go about it, what I’m going to say, or what I’m going to do, but the good news is that the party isn’t until next Tuesday so I have time.  I’m also contemplating bringing a house warming gift over, but I’m so fucking broke I don’t know if I can afford one.

After I get the invitation and head home from work, my computer at home goes to complete hell.  I got some sort of wicked virus on there that basically forced me to reinstall windows, the drivers, and all of my programs.  It took me all night, but now my computer actually runs much better and it feels like I have a whole new PC!

Can the symbolism of wiping the slate clean on my computer along with erasing my dry erase board and receiving this party invitation be ignored?  I really don’t think so.  All of these things happened within a couple of days of one another.

I read recently that when things aren’t going well with your business, sometimes it’s good to start over from scratch.  Meaning, forget everything you’ve done in the past and start like it was your first day you opened the business.  I spoke to my lead provider in detail several times yesterday and made a payment for my first batch of leads.  They will start next Wednesday.

So here’s the summary of my current situation.  

May was a complete disaster.  I did not bring in one deal all month and am not sure if I’m going to.  This weekend is Memorial Day weekend and we will be closed on Monday, then Tuesday is the party at my business partner’s house.  I don’t know if I should bring a gift, if I should talk to him about everything, or if I should just go and have a good time and bring up business at a later date.  Since May was such a disaster, it really doesn’t look good for me going into this situation asking for help because my production can’t really instill much confidence in a potential investor.  Not to mention, I still don’t really know what I’m going to do with leads just yet.  The inbound calls were way to expensive and not closing well enough; so asking my business partner to help fund my operation, while buying those leads would be ludicrous.

I have a feeling these new internet leads are going to be the real deal though, and they are priced quite reasonably compared to everything else.  So if they convert the way I need them too, then I may be able to approach him for assistance.

Like I mentioned earlier, sometimes all you have to go by is your gut, and my gut is telling me these internet leads are going to be my savior.  The last ones were a disaster, but I don’t think that’s going to be the case with these.

Or perhaps all of these signs are telling me to pack it in and just move onto something else???

Nah…