Posts Tagged ‘ fate ’

How much of life do you control and how much is destiny and/or fate? Self-reflecting on my uncle’s suicide…

This is probably going to be a long rambling post but who gives a damn.  It’s my blog and I can write whatever I want.

The conference call yesterday really didn’t go well and it basically brought to light everything that’s wrong with this current real estate deal we are trying to get done and this investor we are working with.  My business partner was so upset after the call that he wouldn’t even talk to me.  Instead he said he needed to clear his head and we would talk in the morning.

I went to the bar last night and had a couple of drinks by myself because I just needed some alone time to think about things and what I’m going to do.  It was the shittiest I’ve felt in a long time.

I just got off of the phone with my business partner about 15 minutes ago, and we decided what we are going to do.  Essentially we are going to make a proposal to this investor, given all of the criteria he provided us with.  We are going to propose that he sign a joint venture with us directly and we will send the business through our associate.  After our conference call yesterday, it does not seem as though handing him off to her is going to work so we are going to have to get creative.

There is 1 sticking point that I’m not sure if we are going to be able to get around.  If we can’t negotiate around it, the deal is dead in the water.  Not only that, but the investor has not given us the information we’ve been asking for the last 3 weeks.  One can’t help but think that even if we verbally agree to a deal, will he ever get the paperwork drafted?  If he can’t send a simple email, how can we expect him to send a contract?

All of these things create obvious problems and there is not much we can do about them.  As of right now, we are planning on emailing him a proposal(most likely before the end of the week) and then calling him on Monday to see what his thoughts are if he doesn’t reply to the email with a definite “yes” or “no.”

This entire situation really began to upset me on a deeper level because I began thinking about every business venture I’ve been involved with over the past 6 years and it seems everything I touch turns to shit.  Not 1 of these businesses flourished and upon deeper reflection I started wondering how much of my success/life is within my control and how much is just a matter of destiny/fate or good luck?

I’ve always felt strongly about; “your fate is what you make,” but there are obviously things that happen that are beyond your control and there is nothing you can do about it.  Let’s say hypothetically that you are in control of 95% of your life.  The 5% that you are not in control of, even though it’s miniscule, is the most important percentage.  It’s the piece that makes the investor say “yes;” that makes you randomly bump into your next business partner whom makes you extremely successful; that simply provides you with tons of sales while other businesses doing the same thing flounder and die.

That 5% is more important than the 95% that you control.

This essence of not having control is what really bothered me because I can do everything in my power and work my ass off toward a goal but at the end of the day that goal might not happen due to something completely beyond my abilities.  What if the invest says, “lets do a deal,” then dies in a plane crash tomorrow?

I’ve made numerous posts about the importance of this whole aspect in one’s life.  The ability to determine what you want from life, to make a plan of action, to take control, and to achieve it.  After our conversation last night my confidence was destroyed.

I’m not sure if I ever mentioned on my blog, but my uncle committed suicide in 2005, my last year at college.  For whatever reason, while I was wallowing in misery last night, I began thinking about him and it finally hit me like a ton of bricks.

He took his own life because it was his choice, his control, and for whatever reason the things that led up to that point; the years of depression and sadness he probably felt were unavoidable.  A lot of the things he probably could have avoided, but like I mentioned earlier that 5% that he was unable to avoid happened to be the most important part of his life and eventually it drove him over the edge.

I’m not feeling sorry for myself; I feel that’s a waste of time and energy.  I think I would just like for something good to happen that I was not in control of to show me that I deserve everything I’m working towards and that my time to live the life I’ve always dreamed of, is now.  I cannot fathom the thought of living the next 6 years of my life the same way I’ve lived the previous; it’s been hell.


Monthly Wrap-up: Final thoughts before the Memorial Day Holiday

I wrote a lot about my current situation in my previous post and this is sort of a continuation to that…

This month was a train wreck as far as production was concerned so it’s good I’m heading in a different direction with my marketing.  Like I mentioned earlier, I have a really good feeling about the new leads I’m going to start receiving next week so let’s hope they pan out.

So I made some decisions as far as what I’m going to do.  I spent all morning looking at numbers and it seems as though expecting this thing to work without some financial help just isn’t realistic at this point.  So what that means is that I’m eventually going to have to renegotiate my contract with my business partner.

This weekend I’m going to be hanging out with a buddy of mine.  He just moved into a new apartment and is going to be having a party all weekend.  Since his bills are higher now that he’s living alone, he mentioned its going to be very low-cost, which I’m all about!  So we’ll probably do the whole BBQ thing at his place.  Cheap beer, hotdogs, hamburgers, you get the point; I’m sure it will be a good time.  He has a tendency to pry about how things are going with my business and no matter what I’m not going to sound upset.  I’m going to tell him things are going great and heading in the right direction.

Then Tuesday is the party at my business partners place.  They are flying in this afternoon but I’m not sure if they are going to swing by the office today or not.  I decided I’m going to buy him a nice house warming gift; like a bottle of Dom P or something similar.  He’s done a lot for me and I wanted to thank him for that, and if my business tanks then fuck it – at least I’ll go down with some class.

I’m not going to talk to him at all about work, however I know him well and I’m sure he’ll bring it up anyways.  If he does I’m going to mention that I’m trying out a new lead source and I’ll keep him updated on the quality of how good they are and I’ll leave it at that.

My plan is that hopefully these leads convert at 7% or higher(which is what I need), and if they do, after I take about 150 or so of them; to call my business partner and talk to him about renegotiating my contract and possibly getting his help so I can hire another employee and get this thing cranking.  The key is my ability to close these leads well so I have something I can show him in terms of numbers.  It would be a minimal investment on his part; which would turn into a lot more money for him in the long run, verses if I were able to gain momentum without his assistance(and negotiation), or worse, go out of business.

I’m sure he’s going to ask me “so how are things going,” and the thing about that question is he already knows how they are going because he sees the numbers I’m putting up.  So I’m not sure if he’s just making conversation when he says something like that, or if he’s creating an opening for me to ask for help?  If he asks; I’ll tell him straight up, “things aren’t going well, but I’m trying this new lead source and I’ll keep you updated.”

From there, the ball is in my court to fucking go down a winner or go down a loser and intend to be a fucking winner.  I’ve been in business for 12 months just grinding it out, and I cannot see myself just walking away after everything I’ve done.

The key is that I have to convert these fucking leads like a machine, to show him they are good quality and that I can still sell.  If I’m unable to do that, there is no point in asking for help.

I also have a couple of guys in mind as being my first hire, and am planning on paying very high commission to hopefully convince them to come on board.  However, I’m getting ahead of myself.  June is THE month that will decide the future of my business.  It’s all going to come down to the next 4 and a half weeks.

I’m a little stressed, I’m a little nervous, but deep down inside I really think this is going to work and I think everything is going to be ok.  I’ve said it so many times and hate to be repetitive, but it just feels like its going to happen.  The leads are going to convert, and everything is going to be good.  I can’t explain why I feel this way but I just do…

Then, I’m on my way to making millions! 

Although one thing that I’ve been thinking more and more lately is how the money is of less importance then I initially thought.  Sure the money is going to be nice, but the feeling of owning/running a successful company is going to be priceless, and even if I’m earning less due to a contract renegotiation, it isn’t going to matter.  I’ll be happy because that feeling of accomplishment is going to be amazing.  Besides, I can still make my million dollars; it is just going to take a bit longer.  🙂  I think it’s just maturation on my part.  Before it was all about the money; now it’s about creating and building something much more then a bank account balance.

This Memorial Day weekend I’m just going to enjoy myself.  I really need to let loose a bit.  I’ve been so fucking stressed and the entire month of May I haven’t gone out once because of the strict budget I was on.  Sitting home with nothing but your thoughts when you have a business that isn’t going to well will turn you into a bitter/angry son of a bitch.  Social interaction is so important, especially for me because I’m a homebody as it is; so getting some of that this weekend is going to be nice.

I’ve said it before; your fate is what you make.  The month of June is going to make my fate – no question.

Enjoy your long weekend’s people.  Drive safe and spend time with your loved ones.

Best wishes.

QuickPress: Gut feeling, the tides are turning

Today, for whatever reason, I have this feeling in my gut that things are going to start to get better soon; starting with this week. I have a feeling that some deals are going to drop, and things are finally going to be all good.

I don’t know why I’m writing this, but sometimes your gut is all you have to go by, and you have to learn to trust it.

It will never lie to you.

Keep working hard people – never give up – and if you aren’t happy with your current situation, change it! Remember, you are responsible for your own fate. What you make is completely up to you.

Thoughts on Academy Awards

It’s Sunday night and the Academy Awards are on TV.  One huge massive room filled with all of the top celebrities in the movie business.  I doubt there are more than 5 people in that room that do not have a net worth of at least a million dollars.

And I can’t only help but think, is it really that hard to become wealthy?  These people, have made millions upon millions of dollars for playing “make believe” in front of a camera.  I understand that industry is probably one of the hardest, if not the hardest industry to make it in, however when you actually sit back and think about how these actors and actresses make their millions, it’s laughable.

Maybe I’m just bitter.

I’m sure every single one of those people worked their ass off to get to where they are.  I just think it’s funny how they make their fortunes.  I’m going to pretend to be someone else, and you are going to pay me 20 million dollars to do it.

If I begin to tell myself that earning money, and creating wealth is easy, will I create more of it?  Will it be less of a hassle for me to make my first million?  Everywhere I look I see someone who is wealthy and I ask myself; “what is different about this individual that allows him/her to have a high net worth?  How are they different from me?”

The answer is, they are no different.  They are just persistent, they don’t give up at the first sign of failure, and they continue pressing forward until they get to where they want to go.  That is exactly my mentality, and has been since I graduated college.

Soon, I will be one of those people, and other people may look at me and ask themselves the same questions I asked.  Your fate is what you make; your life is what you create.  You are not predetermined a particular status or place in life.  It’s all 100% up to you how you want to live it.  Its 100% up to you to go about changing your life if things are not the way you want them to be.

I have one friend that I’m going to tell a quick story about.  He is a 30yr old guy that was my coworker last year.  When I initially started as manager of the sales force in 2008-2009, I confided in my friend that I ultimately wanted to start my own company, and at the time I was thinking I was going to do it in California.  He had mentioned to me on numerous occasions that he had always wanted to move to California, and he was really good at sales, so I figured I’d ask him if he wanted to be my business partner.  He agreed.

Over the course of the next several months, I busted my ass typing up a business plan, and I scheduled a couple of meetings with him to sit down and go over the numbers.  He cancelled several times because he wanted to go to the bar and didn’t seem too motivated.  I continued to work hard, and I even found and investor to give us the startup cash for our business.  He continued his lazy behavior and seemed more concerned with going out, then working on the business.  Eventually it got to the point where I cut him off.  I was doing all of the work and didn’t need him anyways.

The time finally came for me to start my company, and I was in the beginning stages of it.  He called me out of the blue and asked me to lunch.  At lunch he mentioned how he had some money to invest and wanted to be my partner.  I told him I didn’t need a partner, and if he was serious about this, he should have shown it earlier instead of fucking off.  Obviously he wasn’t too happy with that comment.

He was approached by a completely different individual about doing the same thing.  The guy said he needed some startup cash and was looking for a partner.  He declined being partners, and now that individual has a company that is flourishing on all levels and starting to make a pretty penny.

How many fucking times does this idiot need to be given these incredible opportunities before jumping on one of them?  The bottom line is, he won’t.  He will continue his life of being nothing more than a commission only employee working for someone.  What’s even sadder is that he doesn’t seem to care.  He enjoys earning enough money to pay his bills, and have some spending cash for the bars on the weekends.  Retirement?  House?  401k?  Ya fucking right.

He is going to blink his eyes and he will be 40 yrs old and he is not going to have shit to his name; quite sad.

So why did I tell you this story?  Life is about choices.  He could have jumped at either of the opportunities that were available to him, and he would be in a much better position, but he chose not to.  He has no one to blame but himself.  The same goes for you, for me, and for everyone.  You are in control of your life.  It’s just a matter of how you chose to direct it.

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