ramblings of an entrepreneurial madman

Still no leads, and when I emailed my lead guy yesterday to find out what the fucking deal was he told me it could take upwards of 3-4 days before the leads start flowing in from the platform they put up on Tuesday.  I love how he fucking tells me that shit afterwards instead of upfront.

The way it’s looking, I’m willing to bet these things won’t start until next Monday which means the first 2 weeks of June were a complete waste of time.  So naturally I’m starting to fucking freak out a bit.  The entire month of May, not ONE deal, and I’m already 2 weeks into June without shit.

If these fucking leads convert and I can get some funding, I can save this business.  Without both of those pieces being in place it’s fucking over and I’ll have to close my doors.

I really don’t know how I can ask for help from my business partner when the last 6 weeks of business I have not brought in a single deal.  It doesn’t look good at all.  If I start getting these internet leads soon and closing them, it will help, but at this point in time I don’t know if that will be enough to convince him that I can succeed.  It’s been over a year and things haven’t gone to well.

Yesterday I ran some errands with him and helped him out with some shit at his house, other then that my actual time at the office was worthless.  It looks like its going to be the same shit today as well.

I know everyone in this office is expecting me to fail.  I can feel it in their eyes when they look at me, talk to me, everything.  It breaks my fucking heart because I want to succeed so badly, not just for me but for them.  I want to show them all that partnering up with me was the right decision.

I really don’t know what I’m going to do and I can just tell I’m not going to get any leads this week.  I’m so fucking pissed off at my lead provider for not being upfront about this shit from the get go.  I have a feeling that the excuses he’s giving me are somewhat bullshit, and for whatever reason things were delayed and he doesn’t want me to know the real reason why.

If these leads don’t convert, it’s fucking over.  If they do convert but I can’t get some financial backing, it’s over.

It’s just not looking good.