It’s my birthday today and I just want 1 thing

To close this deal, that’s it.

Unfortunately it’s not looking to good right now and who knows how the rest of today is going to pan out.  I typed up a proposal on everything we can do for the investor and just emailed it this morning.  Depending on his response, my business partner and I will call him on Monday to discuss.  If we end up needing to talk to him on Monday, we are going to kick his ass because the guy is just dragging his feet and not getting anything done.  I even said in the email that I’d fly out to see him if he is serious so we shall see.  He never sent the email with the info we were waiting on and at this point just seems like he is wasting everyone’s time.

The email literally said everything that could be said given the amount of information he had given us in previous conversations.  So if it can’t be done, at least I can honestly say to myself that I did everything I could and this guy was just full of shit.  Hopefully he reads the email and feels we can come to an agreement.  From there I’d fly out to see him and hammer this fucker out.

I turn 29 today which gives me exactly 1 year to hit my goal.  I think the thing that’s been most bothering me lately is that I don’t feel I’m any better off financially then I was when I first graduated college 6 years ago.  It’s a very frightening thought.  I’m single and don’t have any kids, so now is the time to take risks and chances but am I ever going to give this up or just keep struggling forever until I hit the big time?  My business partner is 61 and he doesn’t seem to be willing to give up so I guess that has to be my mentality as well.

There are a few things I know about myself and it’s what I’m constantly battling with internally.  I know that I absolutely hate working for someone else and that I’ll be miserable and 10 times more depressed if I get a 9-5 desk job.  I also know that the job won’t last much longer than 6 months before I end up quitting.  I just won’t be able to handle it anymore.

So getting a job would only provide some temporary supplemental income and nothing more.

I also know that the financial goals I’ve set for myself will never be achieved working for someone else, so again it’s hard for me to stay motivated and happy if I end up getting a job.

I know that I love being my own boss, I love having the freedom to make my own decisions and I know that numerous friends and family members believe in me and sincerely feel that I do have what it takes to make it big.  I do not think they are just saying things such as “you can do it,” without really meaning it.  My friend, whom is living on my couch has told me numerous times that he does not feel I’m a “salesman” per say but rather a businessman/business owner and he does think I have the intelligence to own and run a successful company.

My family continues to support me despite my financial struggles and you would think that if anyone were to tell me, “Cut the shit and get a fucking job,” it would be my father or my mother; yet they never said that.  They keep telling me to not give up because they believe…

I believe too but my perseverance and self-resolve is definitely being tested and is wearing thin.  Even if I don’t make a million dollars over night, I need to at least see some steps in the right direction and so far that hasn’t been happening at all.  Time has just been wasted and no progress has been made, however this might all change with the email response I get from this investor; who knows.

By Monday I will know without a doubt if this thing has any chance of survival.  If it doesn’t then I need to begin thinking about what I’m going to do from that point forward.

I just have to believe with unwavering faith that I have what it takes and that it will happen soon.  I have to believe it undoubtedly to be true; there is nothing more I can do.

  1. Happy Birthday! 🙂

    • thanks for the birthday wishes!

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