Something positive has to happen this week

I feel like a fucking zombie.  Everyday I wake up and here I am again at the office.  My business is pretty much done and it’s not like I’m busy anyways.  After sitting around all day, I go back to my apartment, look for more jobs online, then pass out and do it all over again.  My life really is miserable right now.  I really wish I could find something that allows me to work from home and is lucrative so I can just move at the end of the year to California, but that obviously isn’t a realistic expectation given everything that has happened.  Who knows though, something might pop up out of nowhere?

My old business partner has a meeting today with someone involved in another industry and he is going to let me know how that goes, he said he initially contacted the guy about a potential business opportunity but isn’t sure if the guy is for real or blowing smoke up his ass.  He said he will let me know how it goes after he talks to him.  That should happen sometime this afternoon.

I’m going to continue looking to see what’s out there because one thing I’ve learned is that you can never sit around and rely on someone else.  It will bite you in the ass every fucking time.  I don’t think there has ever been a time when I had to rely on someone else that they stepped up to the plate and came through.  Generally it was some type of half-assed effort.  No one will care as much as you do, so it’s best to not expect anyone but yourself to get shit done.

This morning there was a story on the news about how some guy that worked at a beer brewery in Manchester, CT shot 3 people then shot himself.  I guess the guy was being brought in to be told that they were letting him go, and once they did he started fucking shooting people.  When the cops arrived and got close to him, he shot and killed himself.  Times are tough and I’d be lying if I said I never thought about putting a bullet in my head, but to shoot innocent people because you’re having a bad day?  Come on fuck stick!

The reason why I’m mentioning this is because this really hits close to home.  Manchester is right outside of Hartford, and close to UCONN’s campus in Storrs.  I spent a lot of time in that town while I was in college because a girl I dated lived right by there.

Connecticut is a small state and generally you don’t to hear a lot of stories coming out of there, especially in national news.  So when something like that happens it’s a real eye opener for me.

I need today to start a positive momentum shift.  Like I said yesterday, the business meeting wasn’t a complete waste because it showed my worth to another potential business partner.  I just hope something comes of it.

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