April 23rd – Weekly Wrap-up

Well this week was complete fucking crap.  No deals, piss-poor lead delivery, and the leads I did get were bad quality.  I emailed my lead guy and told him I need more volume next week because I’ve only be receiving 3 calls a day and its not enough.

Spoke to someone today and set up an appointment for tomorrow(Saturday) to sign her up, so we’ll see how that goes.

Today I’ve been in a shitty mood and I keep trying to bust myself out of this funk.  When I go a long time without bringing in business I start to get pissed off and I start questioning whether or not I can really do this and if it’s worth it.  I’ve been looking at the numbers and its going to be fucking close.  When I say the next 2 months will be deciding my fate that is no exaggeration.  If those 2 months don’t go well, I’m literally fucked.

Today my business partner has been taking interviews all day to hire for the girl that walked out, and also hire another 2 people.  So it’s been nonstop traffic in our office today which is a little abnormal considering things are typically quiet here.  I’m happy things are growing on their side, but I’m also fucking pissed at myself for not being in the same position.  I want to start fucking hiring people also and I’m not.  I’m sick of this shit.

I’ve been pacing back and fourth in my office all day wondering what the fuck I’m going to do, and every time I glance out my window, there is another person getting out of their car about to come in for an interview.  It reminded me of how I never want to be in that position again; going through the whole interview process with no idea what to expect and with no control over your own fate.  Fuck that, I never want to be in that situation.  I want to be the person on the other side of the interview, who’s financially independent and making the decision as far as whether or not you will be hired.

I really don’t know what to do.  If I had more money to buy leads I wouldn’t have this fucking problem, and I’m learning first hand that it’s nearly impossible to get a business like this going by closing 5-6 deals a month off of 60 leads.  I don’t know if it’s ever going to happen doing that shit.

I can find an investor, but they will want something in return, and I don’t want to give up any portion of my company.  Right now I already have a 60/40 split with my business partner and you can only slice the pie so many ways.

God I’m so fucking pissed right now.  Why can’t I just stay fucking positive?  Why is this shit so hard for me to do while other people around me seem to be having no problems at all?  Every where I look someone is succeeding and I’m fucking drowning.  Seriously, what the fuck?!

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