My personal life has just been fucking rocked


I’m going to vent a bit.

Last night I was going to type up a weekly wrap up and for whatever reason I came across something online that completely devastated me.  I’m not going to go into too much detail about it; I just don’t get how some people could be so fucking cold.  Right now I’m somewhat emotionless about it, but I’m hurting pretty bad inside; and I think that I subconsciously knew something like this was going to happen, but for whatever reason I chose to ignore those thoughts and feelings.

They say the best revenge is living well, so I guess we’ll see if there is any merit to that statement.

The fact of the matter is, all of the money in the world doesn’t mean shit if you aren’t happy, and I haven’t been happy for a long ass time.  I keep telling myself that once I make the good money, things will be better, but that obviously is a fucked up way at viewing things.

I think my main focus has been on earning wealth and achieving success because it’s the only thing that keeps my mind off my fucking misery.  I also have this massive chip on my shoulder because I know so many of my friends and family back east think I’m going to fail, and I want nothing more than to prove them wrong.  Immature?  Yes.  Do I give a fuck?  Nope.

So despite how upset I am about all of this, I tried to put a positive spin on it.  At work I sometimes would have trouble staying on track and staying motivated because my mind would wonder off thinking about this certain person.  Now I won’t have that problem anymore and should be able to put 100% of my energy into my business.  I’m sure at first it’s going to be fucking hard, but eventually it will get easier.  I know I didn’t deserve this shit because I did nothing wrong, but whatever.  The worst thing anyone could do is sit around feeling sorry for themselves.  There is no fucking point.

I firmly believe that you are responsible for your own destiny and your own fate, but I also believe that there are certain things that are simply out of your control and there is nothing you can do about it.  This is one of those things.

Anyways, back to why I started this blog in the first place.

The lead source I’ve been using this past week has been pure garbage thus far.  Things seemed to start off ok, but they quickly went to shit.  I spoke to my lead guy at the end of the week about the quality and he is well aware that they are shit.  He said they are still working out the kinks with this type of lead and some of what I’ve been reporting is to be expected and they are going to work on correcting the issues.

So if these leads don’t get better I have a pretty big problem to deal with.  The TV leads are too expensive, the live transfers are cheaper but I’ve never done well with those, and if the leads I’m buying now continue to be trash, there really aren’t any other options for me.

Some of you may be thinking, “just find another lead provider,” but unfortunately that is easier said than done.  There are over 4000 companies in this industry all over the country.  The majority of which have started within the last 5 or so years.  Lead companies have not grown at the same rate and are unable to meet the demand.  These companies are 9 times out of 10, complete fucking trash to work with.  They buy and sell leads off of one another, resell a lead that supposed to be exclusive like 4 or 5 times.  It’s a fucking mess.

The thing I like about my current guy is he is honest.  If the leads I bought from him are shit, he’ll come right out and say it and not beat around the bush.  Any other lead provider would start with nothing but excuses and that’s what pisses me off.

It’s just fucked up how I’ve been in business for almost a year now and have yet to find a reliable lead provider that sells leads of a consistent quality.

I’m not really sure what I’m going to do yet, and I’ve already pumped way too much money into this thing to give up.

This weekend is going to suck.  I got a lot of shit on my mind.

I’m going to the gym.

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