Can’t fuckin sleep


It’s a downpour outside right now.  I’ve always liked it when it rains at night.  It reminds me of growing up back east.  Something about the sound of the rain when you’re lying in bed is extremely relaxing.  And since I’m living in the desert, we don’t get rain often, so it’s a nice change.

However, I can’t fucking fall asleep.  I got too much shit on my mind and its driving me crazy.  I’m constantly looking over charts and numbers and running over various business situations in my head.  I just can’t seem to shut it off.

“If I do X amount of deals, that means I’ll generate X amount of business…”

“What if these leads don’t covert as high as I’m predicting?  Will I refill my order?  What’s the bare minimum conversion ratio I need to maintain in order to make money?”

“How soon will I be able to hire someone and who the hell will I hire once I’m ready?”

It’s just nonstop and it’s driving me crazy.  I need a shrink to talk to about getting some anti-anxiety medication.  But then again, if I were to take a pill, to calm me down, would it sap my drive as well?  Fuck it’s definitely not worth the risk right now.

This shit has to work; it has to.  I can’t fail again.

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